omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize