I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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