Nicole vs. Life
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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