The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
