I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
