just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
