I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
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