Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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