yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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