i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
