Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
