dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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