Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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