He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The Olympian is in my bed
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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