Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I smell like Dick and happiness
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
