So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
