i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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