She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
