try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
