You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
