it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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