On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
her vagine was all disorganized.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We had sex on a dog bed..
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
