I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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