who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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