with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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