How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
