office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
