you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
