I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
