Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
