she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
