if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
