It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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