I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
