i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
