The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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