I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
