HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
