Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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