I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
