yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
