Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
