so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
