what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
