Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
