This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
