I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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