So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
