Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
