does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
