So drunk its hurt
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
