dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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