so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
