he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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