The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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