you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'd cum for enchiladas.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
