So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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