just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
