thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
