Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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