Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
