can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
