We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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