He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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