return my video game
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize